Some Blog Changes

So, ever since I restarted this version of my blog, I've been trying to come up with a better title. "Pen and Keyboard" didn't really fit any longer, in part 'cause I rarely write longhand any more. I wanted something more descriptive, if possible, and definitely wanted something that better fit how I felt about my writing in general.

"Impostor Syndrome" was it. 

This title originally came up in chat on FM a few nights ago. We were joking around and chatting about writing, and I mentioned that my version of the common writers' issue of Impostor Syndrome rears its head as "What if I never actually finish anything and publish it?" We continued joking after that, but I forget what else I said. However, "Impostor Syndrome" stuck around as a decent title for something so here I've put it. 

I'm also going to be changing the blog's template here too. I've started this tonight, and hope to get back to it soon. In the meantime, I like what I've got!

Like usual, there's more on this topic posted to my Patreon. Sign up for the "Kneecaps" level, and you'll be able to read more!

Since the Move

It's been a while since I've updated my projects list to the right, and I think it'll be a good idea to go into a little more detail here. 

First off, I'm still working on DH01's Developmental Edit/Rewrite. This is going pretty well. I've been using the original draft as a guideline and filling in the stuff that I left out in that first draft. This story is turning out substantially different from the original draft, while maintaining the same plot arcs as that first iteration. For what it's worth, I plan on leaving the copies I have on Wattpad up there unless I get to the point of officially publishing the series. At that time, I'll decide if I want to leave the roughs up. Either way, I plan on giving the books new covers if they get that far.

I'm also continuing to work on the phase outline for the rewrite of The Prophet of Venjhelin 1 that I started a couple months ago. Right now, I've got over 200 phases on it and the ideas are flowing well. Originally, I intended to rewrite this as I am DH01, but that didn't want to go, so I tried the phase outline to see if I could get things moving, and it's worked quite well. My goal on this outline is to get 10 phases a day, though I haven't been as consistent with the daily aspect as I hoped. It's still progressing well, and I'm really enjoying fleshing out the characters and plot.

Most recently, I've started a phase outline of a story I completed in rough draft and have tried rewriting a few times since: Married to the Moons 1. Like with my usual first drafts, even with the outlines I used to do, the story was very much a candybar scene story. The phase outline is helping me flesh this one out too. I've already gotten 60 phases on it, in just one day of working on it. If you'd like a sneak peek of the outline for this one, I've excerpted a few of the phases in a post for my Patreon at the Bicycle level. 

Previously, I was working on transcribing Front: Or My First Completed Story EVAR!!! Since our big house move at the beginning of January, though, I haven't been able to work on it. I may try to do so within the next few months, even if I'm still stuck on my laptop, but I'm not making any promises. 

After the Hiatus

For anyone who's followed my blogs for any length of time, my hiatus since October is nothing new, but for those who are new, it probably felt like I dropped off the face of the earth. I typically go on an involuntary hiatus in the latter half of the year, and the end of 2020 was no exception. My sleep schedule going haywire was only the beginning. 

On November first, I joined Nano. This was not a well-thought-out decision. In fact, I'd already decided not to participate. After the past month and a half, I have no recollection whatsoever of what I wrote on for the event. It could have been anything from a mundane gay romance to my primary project, DH01. Just don't ask me. Maybe I'll remember someday. I just can't right now.

At the end of November, my wife, her sister, our friend Varick, and I began a frantic collection of funds in an attempt to move into better accommodations. Varick, Tess, and I were still in our government subsidized apartments, and Tess's sister, Kaitlyn, was in danger of being forced into homelessness. Unfortunately, we weren't able to gather all the funds, and so had to abandon our plans to move.

Following that catastrophe, I dropped into a depression that somehow included writing almost daily. I think I was using it as a way to escape things at the old place. It was cluttered, dim, and stressful for all of us, cats and humans alike. Not exactly a happy time, and my psych doc even stepped in to get me another medication and a light box to help boost my mood.  

Then, at the end of December—the 31st in fact—when we got word that the second Economic Stimulus Fund would be coming in early January, Tess and I decided to contact the complex we'd tried to get into at the end of November. We knew we could pay all the fees for the deposit with the additional $600 and still have enough to live on for the rest of the month. And, in the process of negotiating with the management of the place, they told us of a January move-in special where they cut the first month's rent in half. 

And thus our Great Move began. 

With all of us combining our funds, we got the three-bedroom apartment we wanted. Even better than the one we were shown in November, this one had a ramp down to the ground-floor apartments, which are actually half-buried in the ground. 

I'll include more details in my Patreon post, including pictures, for those who are interested. The lowest Tier, "I Lost My Kneecaps, So I Can't Crawl Now", will grant you the ability to read the post. Expect that to be up by the weekend. 

Haywire

It's fall here and I'm struggling to keep up with things. My sleep schedule is haywire again, and I'm on a nocturnal schedule again. This is getting to be a regular thing, not that I was exactly on a diurnal schedule before, but at least I wasn't sleeping until 22:00 and sitting up all morning. 

Writing isn't going. Having a haywire schedule means not a lot of writing gets done. In fact, this blog post is the first writing of new words I've done in over a week. Honestly, I really hate having to write posts about me not writing, but I'm trying to keep up with my blog, so here you go. 

Crafting isn't even going. I can't make COVID-19 masks. Quilting doesn't appeal. Crochet is out of the question because I don't have any of the things I need for that. I'm relegated to reading the Help files on Etsy for setting up my store and sitting here doing nothing because I want to work on my writing but the only thing I want to do (work on worldbuilding for a NewShiny), is something that isn't on the list and won't be added. 

I don't put doing these blog posts on my task list because I know I need to do them and I don't want to feel pressured over it. When I feel pressured over something, I avoid it and it eventually doesn't happen unless someone intervenes. There were quite a number of research papers and essays and such that almost didn't get written when I was in school because I procrastinated on them until someone sat me down and didn't let me get distracted so I could finish them. 

Because my sleep schedule is haywire, I'm having trouble taking my meds on a set schedule, and that's really essential for me feeling motivated. Though I only recently learned this the past few months, it's something I really need to pay attention to. I'm not sure how to get on a set schedule again, or precisely what schedule I want to be on. But I'll figure everything out. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Sleep, Writing, and Crafting

 I haven't made as much progress as I wanted on my two stories. This is mostly because the level of my motivation has fluctuated over the past couple weeks. My sleep schedule has gone wonky, and I'm learning to settle into playing Pathfinder on Friday nights, two things that mess with my motivation. Honestly, though, it's mostly the sleep issue. Insomnia sucks.

This year, I'm tempted to enter Nano. To do that, I'd have to work on something I've got enough of an outline on, and that means it would be the gay romance, and I'm afraid I'll burn out on it. It's something I'm thinking about, though, and it would be kind of nice to do this rewrite during Nano since the original draft was written in November during the first week of Nano, even though it wasn't an "official" Nano project.

Either way, I'll be getting my words on DH01 and DOTSC01, and transcribing Front. Oh, and that's coming along quite nicely, that transcription. It's both just as sucky and not as sucky as I thought it was, in different ways. Most of the non-sucky parts come in the form of my technical skill with the story. Though that's definitely improved (along with everything else) over the years, I'm consistently surprised by how well things are written in Front, for one of my earliest works.

Otherwise, the crafting bug has bitten me. I've been working on a new quilt (yeah, I started another project—but this is normal for me) that I found a tutorial about online. It's called Pins And Paws, and comes from a quilt company based in Missouri. I find that interesting, because that's where my dad was from. It's funny how things circle around like that.