Haywire

It's fall here and I'm struggling to keep up with things. My sleep schedule is haywire again, and I'm on a nocturnal schedule again. This is getting to be a regular thing, not that I was exactly on a diurnal schedule before, but at least I wasn't sleeping until 22:00 and sitting up all morning. 

Writing isn't going. Having a haywire schedule means not a lot of writing gets done. In fact, this blog post is the first writing of new words I've done in over a week. Honestly, I really hate having to write posts about me not writing, but I'm trying to keep up with my blog, so here you go. 

Crafting isn't even going. I can't make COVID-19 masks. Quilting doesn't appeal. Crochet is out of the question because I don't have any of the things I need for that. I'm relegated to reading the Help files on Etsy for setting up my store and sitting here doing nothing because I want to work on my writing but the only thing I want to do (work on worldbuilding for a NewShiny), is something that isn't on the list and won't be added. 

I don't put doing these blog posts on my task list because I know I need to do them and I don't want to feel pressured over it. When I feel pressured over something, I avoid it and it eventually doesn't happen unless someone intervenes. There were quite a number of research papers and essays and such that almost didn't get written when I was in school because I procrastinated on them until someone sat me down and didn't let me get distracted so I could finish them. 

Because my sleep schedule is haywire, I'm having trouble taking my meds on a set schedule, and that's really essential for me feeling motivated. Though I only recently learned this the past few months, it's something I really need to pay attention to. I'm not sure how to get on a set schedule again, or precisely what schedule I want to be on. But I'll figure everything out. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Moving Along Slowly

In the past few weeks, I've made some progress. There's about three or four drafts of the To Do list I planned on making, mostly adding things to it. I've also realized that with things going as they have been with Covid, my job hunt may never get started again. A lot of companies are moving their employees to home-based working, and that's not really feasible right now for me, even if I could qualify for the well-paying jobs I'm seeing. Not only that, I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel with other methods of making money. Ideas I've had before, but never had the courage to consider doing seriously. So, if things work out, writing won't be my only income stream—and it really shouldn't be anyway. 

About that To Do list. I think I have it finalized at last. My attempts at starting on obeying it have failed previously, in part I think because of the depression that is still very much with me, but also in part because I didn't really give myself time to mentally prepare for starting to align myself to it. This week, though, I finalized the list and started on a "schedule" for it starting Sunday of next week. One of the things I'm doing is listing minimum times to do the things on it, usually an hour-range, but sometimes something like a wordcount (for writing) or minimum chapters (for reading). I'm not going to be working on a couple-odd things on it for the first while or so, because I need to get better equipment for the work, and I won't be able to do that until I get all the fabric I need for the quilting projects I'm planning. Writing is definitely on it, though, even if the goal count won't be very high, mainly because if I throw myself into high wordcounts right away I'll burn out and end up not writing at all for a few weeks.

I'm happy to say I'm getting some ideas on how to handle DH03 now. Suffice it to say that some major plot points may change. Beyond that, I'm not going to go any deeper into detail. Overall, I'm enjoying writing and am excited to get back into doing it regularly, so I'm hoping the next several days of psyching myself up for getting into my new "schedule" will work. 

Yes, I'm up awfully early. I slept until around 16:30 yesterday. Was just so tired. I'm probably going to take a nap today, then go to bed at a decent hour. Whatever I do, I'll be setting an alarm for Thursday and getting up when it goes off. I can't get myself on a decent schedule unless I organize my sleeping hours into a much better nightly habit than it has been up to this point. Whatever else happens today, I intend to do some housecleaning and perhaps some quilting—as well as reading through what I have of Géta's scenes so I can figure out how his next scene should go. 

And that is all!